Friday, January 16, 2009

Recurring Dreams

I'm sure most of us have had sleepless nights at some point in our lives. You suddenly wake up in the middle of the night feeling a great sense of panic and can't even go back to sleep. What could be the reason? I guess that's probably not a good sign. Have you ever dreamt of the same person over and over again for a number of nights? Yes, recurrent bad dreams are as disturbing as other problems in real life. It can really ruin your life even though you know that it is not real. It makes one think, ‘what have i done wrong’ or ‘why do I keep having these recurrent nightmares?’.

But, not to worry. I too have been having a recurrent nightmare for the past few days. The first time, i dreamt of someone (a girl) being chased by a mob. I am unable to recollect the girl's identity as I could not see her face clearly…she must've been a young girl probably between 18 to 24. She had been charged of stealing someone else's belonging. She was standing in the corner of the street trying to protect herself from the mob who were pelting her with sticks and stones. I intervened in the scene when she was about to be stripped and killed by the mob. I stood between the angry mob and the girl but I was unable to convince them to stop so I tried my best to shield the girl from the angry mob. Some of the angry mob members even hit me with their sticks and stones. I pleaded, “Please stop...please stop..!!”. Then the scene got over when I suddenly woke up. The dream left me a bit confused and left me wondering what exactly it was supposed to mean.

Some other night, when I was fast asleep at around 2 in the morning, I had another dream where i found myself somewhere in the middle of a very dark street. It appeared to be somewhere around 19th century London. Suddenly, I saw the same girl again. This time she was sitting near a dustbin at the corner of the street and was crying. It was a bit dark so i couldn't see her face too clearly. One thing I’m very sure of is that she was definitely the same girl that i saw in my previous dream. She even wore the same clothes and shoes. I felt a sudden wave of panic sweep through me so I slowly started to move towards her, then suddenly she disappeared! It happened so fast that I didn't even see how she disappeared.

The third time I saw the same girl in another dream, she was standing helplessly in front of the same mob who were chasing her in my first dream. I saw her holding a CD (compact Disk) in her hand. This time, she had an angry expression on her face but I still don't know who she was. But one thing i'm very sure of is that she belonged to one of the Asian ethnic groups, probably a Mizo girl. O.k, i forgot to tell you that this girl spoke Mizo! So, I asked the mob why they kept chasing this girl. One guy shouted, “She keeps stealing other people's stuff !” “What stuff?” I said. The man replied, “Well, previously she stole a man's heart. That heartbroken fellow eventually ended up committing suicide and now she's stolen a CD (compact disk)..!” I don't know why the heck all this big fuss was being made about a man's heart or a CD!! Is there some hidden meaning behind it? Totally weird...!!

These recurring bad dreams make me feel uneasy. Earlier, I did used to have many dreams, I mean normal dreams. The themes may have varied widely from place to place and from time to time and i cannot even recall many of my dreams. But this one is as clear to me as yesterday's events. In fact, it troubled me deeply. So, I stated browsing internet sites for information that I was hoping would help. Well, there are plenty of blogs, web-pages and web-sites that narrate people's experiences on dreams. Then, I turned my attention to professional interpretations of dreams as I thought it would be more genuine. A scholarly group called psychoanalysis (i.e sigmund freud) did a lot of theoretical work on dreams but all these did not seem too helpful in my case. There are other scholars who proposed that nightmares can be caused by stress, trauma, fears, insecurities, eating habits, feelings of inadequacy, health problems and marital issues. Do these justify my problem? Or someone, perhaps a spirit is trying to contact me through these dreams...i don't know! I really can't explain it at all. It would be nice to know if anybody has had a similar situation of this kind.

Photos: www.jaygidwitz

Monday, January 12, 2009

Friday, January 9, 2009

Thought disorder

I think we all do stupid things at least once or twice in our lifetime. Recently I do have a few of those, regret or whatever u call it. I never could have imagined the effect it would have on me. In fact, I have never experienced anything like this before. I’m totally confused and uncomfortable. I wish I could take it back but it wouldn't change anything. Is there any way that I can tell people that I'm not crazy. Now, I've realized that everything i wish for will never come true. Well, any stupid choices I made in life are lessons learned. I have so many thoughts running through my head. but i just can't express.

Here’s a wonderful song called Haitian divorce by Steely Dann. Take a good look at the video below here. This is my favorite song on the entire album and the guitar melody gives me chills. Thanks to cousin brother, who introduced me to this beautiful song.